


but would it smell as sweet? (would it really?)

by ElasticElla



Series: the gay place au [3]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Chidi-centric, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 21:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: Michael decides to capitalize on how Chidi died; how he had just failed his best friend one last time. But even Michael couldn’t have predicted the scope of soul-crushing agony that renaming Bambadjan Uzo would cause.(Note: this can be read as a oneshot without the series.)





	but would it smell as sweet? (would it really?)

Chidi knows that a name is just a name. And countless other tautologies, but he’s getting offtrack. A name is a name, it’s the content that matters. Just because his _soulmate_ (and how cool is that, soulmates are real?!?) is named Uzo, it doesn’t mean anything about his best friend Uzo. Whom he may have had a crush on back in the world of the living. 

Not that it was a real crush. A real crush implies attempting to gain the affection of one’s admiration and a certain pursual even if only in spirit. He was just fond of Uzo. And Uzo’s soon-to-be-wife. Really. His soulmate sharing his name is just a fun quirk. Certainly not a quark as there’s nothing quantum mechanical about this at all- no slightly different alternate universes, no if that decision had been different- he’s getting offtrack again.

_This_ Uzo, soulmate Uzo, is an inch or so taller than friend Uzo. And that’s a terrible identifier- he wants to be friends with his soulmate too. Ought to be even, and Chidi’s usually more nervous about prescribing deontological thought. 

Soulmate Uzo is just tall enough that if they were to kiss, Chidi would need to tilt his head up. Not that he’s thinking about such things right after meeting him. Was it impropriety to think quickly of one the universe itself decided was your fate? Not that he’s about to start thinking about fate and free will again, that never ends well without wine.

He can already feel the beginnings of a stomach ache, and of course he’s found a way to make even utopia painful for himself. 

“-do you think Chidi?” Uzo is asking. 

Chidi’s neck burns, he really isn’t going about making a good first impression well. 

“Sorry?”

Uzo smiles- and yes maybe no identifier would be best- no, no that would surely lead to mixed memories. “Move in with me. This mansion is too large for just me, and I want to know you.” 

“Um, I wouldn’t want to reject the apartment that Michael built-” 

“Don’t worry about that. Janet!” The not-woman, not-robot pops in and Chidi jumps, Uzo addressing her. “We need you to move all of Chidi’s things here. Can you do that?” 

“Yes,” she says, popping in and out. While he isn’t surprised Janet can navigate the good place so easily, it was much less unnerving when she simply stood beside Michael and answered his incessant questions. Which reminds him-

“Done. Welcome to your new home Chidi. I will notify Michael that he has space for the bowling alley now.” 

“Oh- alright. That’s great. Who doesn’t love to bowl?” 

Janet pops out again and Uzo’s expression goes to worried. “It isn’t too sudden is it? Sometimes you’ve got to just go with your gut.” 

“Hah. Yeah. I um, don’t do that much. But I appreciate it in others! Did you have a job that had lots of gut decisions?” 

The question feels silly the moment it’s out, but Uzo’s nodding seriously. “Oh yes. Trying to decide which elephants to take down, which to leave and hope no one else poached. Very gut wrenching.” 

Chidi can’t help his eyebrows’ incredulous rise. “You were a…?”

“Poacher? One of the best in the Ivory Coast. It’s been trickier with so many elephants slaughtered decades ago, but like anything it just takes hard work and perseverance.” 

Chidi bites his knuckle, but can’t help the question. “So how exactly did you end up here then? Not that er- your work was necessarily incompatible with any sense of morality, only it seems to be at odds with most systems of, uh-. You know what? I’m just going to stop talking.” 

Uzo is still smiling. “I get it, I was confused when I got here. But Michael said what I did with the money- creating more public schools to increase literacy in our children and adults, trying to reverse massive deforestation, and better public health care- mattered more.” 

“Wow. So the ends do justify the means. Huh, I never thought that theory might actually be right. Not that I lived my entire life striving for the right means and a resulting good human condition. I mean some of the consequences of this are repugnant to put it lightly-” 

“I don’t think so,” Uzo interrupts gently. “Michael was telling me the numbers almost never work out. I’m a rare case.” 

Chidi pushes his glasses up, but Uzo’s words leave him with even _more_ questions. Like what exactly made Uzo’s life so different? It seems unlikely that Uzo’s the _only_ person with a rich morally corrupt job that gives back to the community. Perhaps he’s simply the best at it? But still that doesn’t explain-

“Enough about me though. Michael told me you’re a philosopher?”

“Yup. I studied and taught moral philosophy; I’ve been pursing fundamental truths since before I knew what they were called.” 

Uzo chuckles low, lower than his previous friend Uzo would of and isn’t that a mouthful- _not_ that he is thinking about mouthfuls of either Uzo or god both or- offtrack. So very offtrack. 

“So am I a good person?” Uzo jokingly asks. “Getting up here has to count for something right?”

Chidi freezes. He knows what other philosophers would say- the majority of the ones he likes would give an adamant _no_ and while a few pragmatists and utilitarians might say yes, their arguments have always felt flimsy. Still feel flimsy even in light of everything new. The real question is what does he himself think, and that brings a whole host of bad memories back quick. 

And not to keep thinking of the two Uzos like this, not to keep thinking of them together but- still living Uzo had asked him the very same question once. Only instead of humor it was filled with bitterness, spat out at the end of an argument. The content didn’t matter, it all came back to his inability to break a promise, or lie, or to make up his mind in a timely manner. 

“Chidi?” 

Chidi swallows, “I try not to judge people individually. I can’t be in your head, I can’t really know all of your motivations or circumstances so…” 

Uzo doesn’t seem fazed, and Chidi wonders if that’s a soulmate thing or a new Uzo thing. Old Uzo would have seen past his words and-

He really wishes he could have met soulmate Uzo with a different name. He can’t help the associations that he wouldn’t have made without it, and he feels like an awful person for making them. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet mocks him from the back of his mind. Would he really feel such quick kinship if he wasn’t often thinking of previous Uzo with current Uzo? Or was that from being soulmates? Would Uzo even like him if they weren’t soulmates? _New_ Uzo, he corrects, rubbing his temples. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to trouble you,” Uzo says with a bright smile. “Come, I’ll show you all of the house and we can see where Janet put your stuff.” 

The tour quickly reveals that the mansion is around twenty times the size of the apartment he was originally in, and Janet put all of Chidi’s things with Uzo’s. He doesn’t want to complain or make a worse impression, but now there’s two of _everything_ in the house. Two oversized couches, two televisions, two fridges, two beds, two fireplaces- and that’s not to get into the smaller objects that there’s dozens of now. 

It means that simply sitting in the living room requires first picking a living room, and then a couch, and then a seat. It’s the type of small decisions that only blow up when he’s feeling nervous or agitated, and the more he thinks about it, the worse he feels. 

Somehow, he’s single-handedly souring utopia and a fresh new headache pounds in. 

He’s finally decided to go to the green velvet couch over the mahogany leather couch that Uzo’s sitting on- when Uzo tugs him down into his lap. 

“Oh,” he exclaims, not sure how to place himself. 

“I can feel you thinking,” Uzo teases. It instantly brings to mind the horrifying possibility of telepathy, but surely Uzo wouldn’t still be happy if he were really in his head. 

“We have forever,” Uzo continues. “Whatever it is, we’ll solve it my handsome man.” 

Warmth curls in his gut at the promise, Uzo’s hands cupping his face. There’s a reassuring safety in eternity. Forever means he’ll finish sorting his thoughts out, he’ll be able to choose and decide simply, having already done all possible thought experiments. Forever means peace. 

And with that in mind, when Uzo kisses him, he doesn’t panic. Chidi kisses him back and thinks, this really is the good place.


End file.
